Self-care Toolkit for Dealing with Loss

When we lose a loved one, it can be very difficult. Things we have experienced before and are used to become unfamiliar and daunting. We experience ourselves anew as we face each day without that loved one.

Here at iSEEu Counselling, we like to think of tears of grief and loss as tears of love. The tears of grief and feelings of loss can reflect the deep care and affection we held for those lost. Just as glitter gets everywhere and glue is sticky, both can be hard to completely remove. Similarly, the positive influence and cherished memories of our loved ones continue to resonate in the lives they touched.

Sometimes, there is a worry that if you allow yourself to grieve, you may become so overcome by grief that you might not be able to bring yourself back, or piece the broken pieces of your heart together. We have good news for you: the heart is durable and strong. It appears to have several safety features, so much so that with the right conditions and support in place, it can withstand, endure and recover from being broken. We have seen this time and again in various human experiences, and in the recovery of individuals with complex emotional issues.

To get you started on this journey, we have created a self-care toolkit to aid you in times of grief and loss.

At iSEEu Counselling, we evaluate and explore these individual steps with our clients and recommend contacting us or your therapist to support and guide you through these.

Plan activities that can keep you safe during your grieving times—things that can comfort you, connect you with nature and your faith.

Explore and implement healthy reminders of things that regulate and ground you.

This is a guided intervention with a therapist at iSEEu Counselling, and we recommend that these steps be applied under the guidance of your therapist.

Some suggestions include:

• Creating a safe space.

• Writing a letter to yourself to be opened at a certain time when you need it, reminding yourself of how you have taken care of yourself and how you keep yourself safe

• Physically wrapping yourself up

• Engaging your nervous system through your five senses

• Participating in light activities that require little thought—such as watching a movie.

Set boundaries and allocate time to sit with your emotions while planning something to do afterward, something to look forward to. This could include eating something healthy and staying hydrated or going outside for a walk. Keep things simple and manageable; if you are going to set a goal, start with very small, achievable goals and gradually increase them.